Learn effective strategies on how to connect with your partner and strengthen your relationship. Discover ways to foster emotional intimacy, enhance communication, and build a deeper bond that lasts.
“When two people respect each other, the ability to be vulnerable and to reveal hurt feelings can create a powerful emotional connection that is the source of real intimacy.”– David D. Burns
An emotional connection is the foundation of a relationship.
“Without a strong emotional connection, relationships can easily drift apart,” says Angela Bisignano, PhD.
The more emotionally connected you and you partner feel, the more your quality of life improves. You will feel more comfortable, fulfilled, and joyful about life.
On the other hand, when you and your partner feel emotionally disconnected, your quality of life decreases. You feel more insecure, less fulfilled and more disappointed about how things are going in your life.
Relationships have so much power over us. That’s why it is important to be in a relationship with someone who helps create an environment where you have a strong connection to each other. Unfortunately, childhood trauma and betrayals in previous relationships have made forming an emotional connection difficult. Previous abandonments, breakups and divorces have made feeling connected to someone else seem like a scary thing. As a result, most people feel disconnected from their partners.
To better understand how to build an emotional connection, below there’s a list of behaviors that can help you.
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How To Connect With Your Partner
An Emotional Connection Happens When…
• Both partners have good listening skills. When you listen to your partner, you are going inside your partner’s mind. Likewise, when your partner listens to you, he or she is entering inside your mind. This is a powerful way of connecting.
• Both partners have the ability to display empathy. Empathy is a skill that allows you to mirror your partner’s feelings. It’s a skill that allows you to put yourself in your partner’s shoes. The more empathy you have, the more involved you will feel in his or her life. This is another powerful way of connecting.
• Neither partner takes the others’ behaviors personally. When you take your partner’s behaviors personally, you are more likely to develop resentment and defensiveness towards your partner. It is important to remember that most times a person hurts you, they aren’t intentionally trying to make you feel hurt. Rather than taking your partner’s behaviors personally, have compassion for your partner’s behavior.
• Both partners are committed to healing from their childhood and past relationship trauma. If you don’t heal your abandonment issues from past relationships, then you will have a fear of abandonment in your current relationship. This fear is responsible for all unhealthy behaviors.
• Both partners are affectionate on a daily basis. A decline in affection is the main reason a person becomes dissatisfied with their relationship. Physical touch is one of the most powerful ways to connect with someone. Whenever you and your partner touch each other, electricity is transferred between you.
• Both partners make time to be present with each other on a daily basis. Quality time is important for the success of a relationship. What defines “quality” time? Being present; not worrying about the past or the future, but just being in the moment with your partner.
• Both partners make self-love a priority. You’ve heard the quote, “You can’t pour from a empty cup.” The more you love yourself, the more love you have to share and connect with your partner.
• Both partners are committed to being emotionally available. The purpose of getting in a relationship is to have a primary person to meet your needs. If your partner does not make time to meet your needs, then you will feel neglected, dissatisfied and resentful. Likewise, if you don’t make time to meet your partner’s needs, your partner will feel neglected, dissatisfied and resentful.
• Both partners focus on creating win-win scenarios. Relationships are a team sport. The better you and your partner work as a team, the better results you will have in your relationship.
• Both partners make sure their behaviors are loving. There’s two intentions you can have behind your behaviors: (1) love or (2) fear. When you are acting from a place of love, your intention is to behave in a way that makes your partner feel safe and comfortable. When you are acting from a place of fear, your intention is to behave in a way that controls your partner. Get in the habit of asking yourself, “Am I acting from a place of love or a place of fear?”
How many of these connection strategies do you and your partner use? The more of them you use, the better your relationship will feel. You can learn more ways to connect with your partner in my ebook Show Me A Good Time.
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