“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”– Friedrich Nietzsche
Why Relationships Fail: Common Reasons and Solutions to Overcome Challenges. Explore the factors contributing to relationship breakdowns and discover practical strategies to strengthen your bond and foster lasting love.
According to Albert Einstein, everything in the universe is in relationship. The Sun is in relationship with the Earth. Your eyes are in relationship with these words. Sperm and egg establish a relationship to create a baby in the womb. This raises an important question: If relationships are a natural part of life, why are human relationships so difficult and often end up failing? Unfortunately, almost half of marriages end in divorce. Aside from the fifty-percent who do divorce, there are a large amount of couples who are unhappy together, but never file for divorce. Therefore, it cannot be denied that there is a pandemic of unhealthy relationships in the world. The good news is that this can be prevented. If you want to learn how to have a successful relationship, here are four things you and your partner need to avoid.
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Top 4 Reasons Why Relationships Fail
Self-Neglect
Self-neglect is the failure to participate in consistent self-care. There are six different types of self-neglect:
- Physical Neglect
- Emotional Neglect
- Mental Neglect
- Organizational Neglect
- Financial Neglect
- Spiritual Neglect
Each type of self-neglect can lead to short-term and long-term consequences, not only for yourself, but also for your relationship. Oftentimes, a person who neglects him or herself is dependent on his or her partner. Self-neglect is the foundation of codependency.
Emotional Unavailability
What is emotional unavailability? Emotional unavailability is the failure to consistently meet your partner’s needs. When you don’t make time to meet your partner’s needs, your partner is going to develop dissatisfaction towards the relationship, as well as resentment towards you. Generally, there are nine needs you are required to meet. These are:
- The Need for Affection
- The Need for Quality Time
- The Need for Emotional Support
- The Need for Conversation
- The Need for Sexual Satisfaction
- The Need for Growth
- The Need for Financial Support
- The Need for Recreational Companionship
- The Need for Domestic Support
If you don’t consistently meet these needs, then your partner will become dissatisfied and relationship is destined to fail.
Poor Conflict Management
Conflict is going to happen in your relationship. There’s no way around it. However, as long as you and your partner have healthy conflict management, you don’t have anything to worry about. If you are one of my clients, you understand that healthy conflict management is a three step process. This process includes:
- Disengaging
- Speaking Your Truth
- Listening and Learning
The failure to master this process will lead to poor conflict management, and ultimately, a failed relationship.
Addiction
Addiction is the sixth leading cause of divorce. A person’s addiction is like a virus that sickens everything in his or her environment, especially his or her relationship. The most common addictions include:
- alcoholism
- drug abuse
- food addiction
- sexual addiction
- workaholism
- cell phone addiction
- shopaholism
Generally, these addictive behaviors help an individual cope with feelings aloneness, depression and unworthiness. On the other hand, these addictive behaviors do not help a person’s relationship. It can cause many problems such as bankruptcy, job loss, abusive outbursts and child neglect. “The primary relationship that a person with substance use disorders has is with their drug of choice,” says Dr. Carolyn Coker Ross. “All other relationships are secondary and take a back seat to this.”
Conclusion
Relationships are difficult to understand. The purpose of this blog is to make them understandable. A key thing to understand is the behavior patterns responsible for a failed relationship. By understanding these behaviors, you and your partner are more likely to prevent them from ruining the connection you share.
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